hi. hello there. it’s been a while, and i have to say that i’ve grappled with whether to come back in one of two ways:
1. jump right back in with project showcases + new stuff
2. tell the story of what’s been going on behind-the-scenes for the past couple of weeks (aka: be a little bit honest)
as i sit down to write this, i *think* i’m leaning to the second option. because this blog is not only an outlet for fun, cute, handmade goodness (which is a huge part of me), but it’s also about life as a mom + as a woman + i don’t mind sharing the ups-and downs.
i kind of shared a bit back in january with this post. it really just kind of scratched the surface. since then, here’s what’s happened:
1. despite losing a job, i gained an awesome new job that i started back in march. like any new job, i’m settling in, getting my groove, and feeling good. still, leaving a job (by not being kept through a merger) kinda jolted me to my core. lots o’ stuff bubbled to the surface. all the feels + emotions + nerves were kinda flowing out of me like lava from a volcano. and, starting a new job is always a little mind-blowing. new routines. new people (who are awesomesauce, by the way!). new work. but i’m in my element: social media, managing projects, writing, websites. i really love it. like, love it.
2. through all of this (the old job, the new job search, the emotional weight, yada, yada, yada), i was having headaches. like every day of my life. these tension headaches where it felt like someone tied a rubber band around my head. not fun. at all. which of course made me believe that something was terrifyingly wrong with me (besides the massive amount of stress i was under). oh, and i should mention that for like, the 1,548,675th time in my life, my mom was the guiding realistic force about the headaches. it took one day of seeing me, hearing what i was feeling, and she said, “uh, are you grinding your teeth again?” oh. yeah. maybe…..enter in going to the dentist, who referred me to a lovely specialist who could help me with what seemed like a recurring case of TMJ that i had been diagnosed with when i was fourteen….stay tuned for what comes next with this.
3. girl problems. on top of the job stuff, and the headaches, and the TMJ, i’ve been going through some of this fun stuff. (note: if you’re a dude and reading this – kudos! there’s no gross stuff here, but i will say: if you are married/in a serious committed relationship with a woman, be like my husband when your lady is going through what i’m going through. love. help. listen. understand. hug. talk.) i won’t go into the nitty gritty details, but i’ll say this: hormones are some pretty interesting, good-for-you-but-can-kinda-wreak-havoc-on-you-when-things-get-all-wacka-doodle little things. it’s a long story, but i will say this: God is good. He blessed us with two very easy pregnancies, giving us the greatest gifts in the entire world – our noah + alex. and, He graced me with peace and calm and clarity when we were making personal decisions about our family, because i know He knew what was going on. the even better news: i am seeing a fantastic physician and nurse practitioner and nothing that is going on is major. sure, it’s major to me when i can’t sleep, or when i have a hot flash (yep, ladies…i said a hot flash. like the ones that our moms get) that makes me want to jump in a pile of snow, but grand scheme, it’s gonna be all good. i know it will. i’ve learned a ton (thanks, dr. google + to a new acquaintance who i’ve been able to reach out to + to my fantastic doc), and i can say this right now: nutrition + vitamins help. we still have more to learn about exactly what’s a-happenin’ with the hormones, but just eating more leafy veggies + fruit + getting my vitamin d + omega-3s helps.
i spent a lot of time through all of this wondering why in the world i wasn’t “just handling it.” and, when i’d stop – like, really stop – it would hit me like a ton of bricks: for as strong as i always want to be, for as much of a stiff upper lip i want to keep, the situation handed to me at the time was a pretty damn big deal. it wasn’t small stuff. it wasn’t a forgotten library book, or something that i’d misplaced. losing a job you enjoy + that you feel like you’re good at is hard. it’s really hard. but finding something new that you love + are able to grow in + contribute to is a gift. and for that, i am forever thankful. i live + work in an amazing community. and, i have some amazing friends.
so, with all of this, i became quiet. i’ve taken a lot of time just for me + for my family. i’ve been working on stuff when i’ve felt like it, but i’ll admit, it’s been pretty light in the studio. but i’m getting back to it. i’m so driven by being able to create + it helps me re-focus + realign + de-stress. and, i am still going to be getting all of my stuff together for the re:craft + relic show in franklin, wisconsin in two weeks! mr. re-nest has some pretty awesome things up his sleeve for my booth, and i’m so excited to just be in such a great, creative environment for two days!
this was a pretty honest + open post for me. and before i close, i have to give a major shout-out to my family.
my husband. he is my rock. i can’t tell you how much i have leaned on him in the past five months, but it’s been a lot.
my boys. they are the constant, shining light every single day, who make me laugh and remind me of the innocence and beauty of being little.
my in-laws. who made spring break so. easy. this year. they gave up, like, nine days of their lives to come and keep our little boys, so the mister and i could go to work and not eat up vacation. oh, and they cooked and cleaned and gave us a little break when it was so very needed.
my mom. i might be thirty-seven, but i still need her. she has been my champion. she has listened + sometimes gotten bossy with me when i needed someone to tell me that i needed to put myself ahead of the priority line.
my bonus dad. who always, always, always asks to make sure i’m okay, and to see how i’m feeling.
my dad. who, as uncomfortable as it was for him, listened to me tell him about my girl stuff. and, who came + paid a visit with me and the boys when mr. re-nest was traveling + it was my first week at my new job.
my bonus mama. who, no matter how crazy busy she is or what she’s doing to improve + better women’s lives, she drops it when we need her. and, she listens + helps + solves. and, she’s damn good at calling the airlines + switching my dad’s travel arrangements home when it’s decided he’s going to pay a visit.
my sister. who i share everything with. who has listened + encouraged, despite the fact that i know when i share something like all of this, it scares her a little. she always puts a brave face on when her older sister needs her. even when she’s going through stuff of her own.
so, that’s it. that’s where i’ve been. i’ve been surrounded by support + love + cheerleaders, as i’ve made this journey. oh, and here’s some random pics from the last couple of months, that i just thought i’d share.
|one of my fave things in the studio. my ikea chandelier.|
|one of the many wisconsin pillows i’m hand
painting for re:craft + relic!
|i mean, who else can’t stand this cuteness?|
|and, this cuteness too? monograms all around!|
|little mr. re-nest #2 getting his artistic side on|
|a #wip pic|